The formation of a lasting and good relationship, couple, family, sooner or later will meet with both the husband and the wife’s parents. That’s how successful will develop a relationship with their parents, will also affect the microclimate of the new family.
Situations in life are so different. Some come with their parents and even adoptive parents, some parents no longer are just some of the foster parents. The new husband and wife may have different attitudes towards their teachers. Parents also may like and may not like the child’s spouse.
Parents often feel lonely, abandoned, worthless, but if it was their life has gone mostly just taking care of the child, they can start quite unintentionally violate the limits of the young couple – often ciemoties, call, complain about your life, including developing or increased care for young. This can lead to unbalance the couple’s relationship, one may become frustrated may be something to look outside the family, in the shade of the family of someone else.
Parents and spouses of each other waiting for the satisfaction of his narcissistic needs. Parents often expect obedience and respect for, as long as the spouses – the respect and honored them as well. It often gives you a first mutual grievances and frustration, and can be projected image of evil.
Sometimes the husband’s parents may unconsciously start to compete with his wife’s parents as to who can help you more, give more, etc. are better. Sometimes, on the contrary – to declare that now they have brought up their children and do not help at all – for either a new family with the handle itself.
All of us are well-known dispute arising out of raising a family. Often, each generation has its own ideas about good parenting, but everyone already wants only the good. Others believe that their children are healthy lather, others – not, some are very strict and demanding, main – not (as it is), one has ambitious goals for children, each are not alone in saying that, for example, Pipettes and drink is not good, but the other has an example to show the opposite. This creates a neurotic child conflict, neurosis, because he is distracted, especially if, for example, grandparents are very persistent and very strongly and try to teach the young to live – a child, however, have their own parents.
The solution depends on how able to function independently in the new family. If they help parents did not so much need for courtesy and tact can tell the parents. Although sometimes it can lead to resentment surges – “I have no one really needs me,” “I do not love nobody”, “and this is the thanks for bringing up” … But already by the time the feelings are accessed over and find other ways of spending their time .
It is understood that there is already no “correct” model of relations. Each family has its own situation. Of course, the best relationship with the husband or wife, parent form, subject to courtesy, thoughtfulness, cycle, take an interest in them. If you still have any relationship problems, all of the involved feel frustrated, the couple should first talk to each other to resolve their differences. You can also check details from a professional. Specialist advice may also be useful to allow the parent to whom hard to get used to the new conditions, or who, himself without noticing too involved in the couple’s life.
However, our parents are also an invaluable resource for the life experience they will undoubtedly be much higher and the grandchildren have a good time with them. Joint festive occasions, joint actions will only strengthen the sense of family.