Parent-child relationship has always been a hot topic.They are our first relationships, family is our first experience when we sense as it is – to be among the people.
Parents and their adult child relationship is one of the most important and long-standing social links. It is in these relationships must be able to support and understanding, but in reality they are often tense and negative atmosphere evocative. Parents are either too interferes with the lives of children, or the children are sitting on the neck of middle-aged parents.
Changing generations, but similar problems recurring. Systemic family psychotherapy are called generational patterns related repetitive (both successful and unsuccessful inheritance). Each generation has its own meaning and function. The problem arises when generations fulfill their tasks and do not exercise their functions. Mixing of roles, the children do not understand their place in the family, arrivals
Grandparents embody family history and survival. They are the witnesses of the past, makes it possible to shape the future. The grandparents have the time and comfort their grandchildren, they give tips and demonstrate that aging and death belongs to life. Treatment of children and grandchildren are often different. Problems arise when the roles are mixed – it will cause regression of the family system. For example, a common problem nowadays is that the grandparents, not the parents are the ones who raise children – disappearing middle generation function.
Middle-aged mediate between parents and their children. This generation has a number of functions:
containing function – supporting family and decide whether the family will have children or not. They have to maintain a legacy – both spiritual (traditions, laws, stories, etc.) and material;
educational function – to provide security and love, to create a sense of belonging for children, teach conflict resolution and coping with stress. This generation is a model for their children and create intimacy relationships, habits, behavior, relationship patterns, values and goodwill. Middle-aged bear the responsibility and form an active life;
filter function – decide whether what was bad, put the next generation or not.
The problem arises when the middle stage is missing. Difficulties may also lead to the fact that the latest generation of parents are not psychologically separated from their parents. For example, we can live alone but spend every free moment with my parents, we make determinations required in consultation with them, etc.. c.
Children are the ones that connect the ancient with the new, breaks stereotypes and leads to development. They are energy carriers and family mirror (behavior worldly affairs awareness, values, etc.). For children there is a need for independence. Children supported with a family, caries the meaning of life and creates a link between generations, encouraging gentleness, joy, and in matters of employment. Problems arise when children have received an inheritance preserved some family secret or a problem carrying a load between two generations (grandparents and parents).
Time to start adult life
Parents’ main task is to teach children to live independently, to develop child characteristics that will be useful in life: independence, perseverance and courage. Both parties must prepare and adopt a new social role in maintaining good emotional and intimate relationship (no longer a child with a parent, but as an adult with an adult). Communication problems arise because we meet psychologically both sides feel the same as when the children were 5-7 years old. The relationship has to change, to become equivalent, which is respectful of each personality. Each stage of life a person should be assigned tasks, need to recognize the new goals and opportunities.
Parent-child relationship is converted to an adult relationship. Such relationships are other causes and correlations. Adults in contact if they are interesting together if there is a common exercise or some other type of dependency from each other, such as employment. However, your child may seem strange that the mother, who previously helped to learn, clothing, bathed and fed, as was his mother, suddenly offended that she does not say thank you so much for granted as a cooked lunch.
Adult child and parent relationship types
Adult children and their parents, the relationship might be classified into four types. Of course, this classification does not cover all the diversity of life, because it can not be put in rigid frames. The interesting thing is that these types occur regardless of whether the children have their own families, or all live under the same roof or not.
Mutual understanding and cooperation – is characterized by bilateral concerns and help them take place on the basis of equivalence. The only excitement does not stem from relationship problems and stress, but the lack of time for intercourse.